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an identity crisis
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zigzags in the snow; pokeprompts 1st challenge 
19th-Jul-2010 03:10 pm

It's Apocalyptic-looking outside, so dark I needed to turn on my lights at 3 in the afternoon. It's creeping me out. So anyway...

Here's my first entry for pokeprompts ! I obsessively proofread as usual, but feel free to point out grammar / spelling mistakes, because somehow, I still always miss them. I had such a hard time deciding what pairing I wanted to do, too. I really wanted to do Twinleafshipping (which I obviously ended up doing xD), but as I was looking through my playlist, I realized most of the songs were kind of depressing, so I almost did Green/Leaf and/or Green/Red, but went with this, anyway, since it's a favorite. 

I never even finished Platinum, though. :| I was going to start over the other day, but then was informed I couldn't start a new game until I deleted my old one. So then I kind of lost my patience and didn't redo it again. anjgnsjgd. And I haven't finished SoulSilver, either. jfc. Those blizzards.

Annnddd I need to stop talking. Haha. But I have never written for these two before, so I apologize if anything seems OOC and such. I guess it's got a good amount of headcanon in here. My writing's also not what it used to be for some reason. I'm having some kind of perpetual writer's block.

1. Look After You - The Fray  

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you 

 The day her father left it started to storm.

Whistling, whirling winds strong enough to snap branches, enough chilling rain to fill an entire ocean, clouds like ashes that covered the entire sky as far as her softened eyes could see, thunder and lightning loud enough to cover her mother’s cries of anguish, all the sights and sounds of the evening sending her heart aquiver.

She could only choose two storms to run to: her mother’s, or her world’s.

She strapped on her rain boots and pink poncho and fled her house, because somehow the violent storm outside seemed like a much safer, more welcoming environment compared to the one she’d left behind in her abrupt escape. The rain felt glacial against her exposed skin, and some of it sunk straight through her clothes and even appeared to turn her bones to ice, making it difficult to run to wherever her feet seemed to want to carry her.

“Jun!” she yelled, pounding on his door. "Jun!”

Her neighbor opened the door reluctantly, his eyes asking, Who would be coming to visit at a time like this?

“Hikari?” Her young neighbor looked as shocked as he felt, and quickly pulled her inside and slammed the door shut behind them. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

She was surprised he could see her tears through the droplets of rain that left rivers on her cheeks, lakes on the floor. But leave it to her best friend to know immediately what was wrong. She collapsed, kneeling and aching onto the familiar warmth of their red welcome mat. “M-my dad,” she said, sniffling, “he left.”

At five years old there wasn’t much either of them could really do to make the pain go away, except for an embrace.

As he hugged her, she breathed him in. She clutched his shirt, clung to him like the shelter in the storm he was to her, and sobbed against him. Between the tears and the drenched poncho, it was almost as if Jun had been in the storm himself, but he didn’t mind.

“Don’t worry, Hikari! You’ve still got a man in your life to protect you!”

And at that the continuous clap of thunder no longer seemed like so much of a standing ovation, but a tiny audience. The whistling wind seemed to be a dull hum. She smiled weakly against his skin at his warm words, which felt like sunlight streaming through the thick clouds overhead.

“Let’s get you some tea and a towel, okay?”

The day she realized she loved Jun, it stormed.


2. Forever - Vertical Horizon

I will feel you 

Wherever he went, she followed him just a few steps behind.

Even though she rarely saw him, she always felt his presence – especially in the snow, when she could see his zigzagging, inconsistent footprints, smiling and calling him a “dork” under her breath, a whisper as quiet as the hush of the snow with affection as deep as it. She tried to trace his path exactly, but it never quite worked for her – she liked order, and he liked disarray; somehow, though, she always caught up.

It was times like these, when his quirks appeared the strongest to her, that she missed him the most and wondered if he could feel her presence, too, despite her being the one trailing him.

And he could when he made his way back the way he came, and he could see her imprints in the snow beside his. He smiled at her weak attempts to keep pace with his inconsistent pathways, smiling and calling her “adorable” under his breath, a small murmur filled with so much love. 

3. Heaven Forbid - The Fray

Heaven forbid you end up alone, and you don't know why
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow - you'll be alright

After much thought and saving, she decided it would be a wise decision to live on her own in a small, inviting apartment in Hearthome City. Her mother barely saw her anymore as it was, and seemed genuinely okay with it – “You’re almost twenty-four now, anyway, Hikari, and you grew up long ago without much of my help” – and many of the friends she’d made along the way promised plenty of visits (and parties, much to her misfortune), so it didn’t break her heart much to have to leave familiarity behind; she'd done it before and could do it again just as easily. She felt just fine about it.

Except when it came to Jun’s reaction (when she was finally able to bump into him and relay the news).

“That sounds cool! It’s good that you’re settling down. I’d like to, but I’m always on the go. See ya!”

He didn’t promise her visits (or parties; but really, who could handle Jun partying? She was just getting the hang of interior decorating, not interior destruction), nor did he seem all that affected by her petulant look at his nonchalant response.

But, she supposed as she started to pack all her things away into various labeled boxes, he’s always on the move, always has been. It’s just that, without him, she felt like she was completely alone, despite having friends and family to visit nearby. He’d been with (well, somewhat near) her throughout their entire life as friends, and to know that he’d be gone all the time now stung her heart just a small bit and made the edges of it ragged.

She also hoped he’d be (somewhat) available to help her unpack, but he didn’t show (she had dropped a hint she’d at least want him there for that much), just as she suspected. So when she removed an old photo album out of one of the boxes and flipped through it, she felt her throat close up at the sight of their smaller selves and could suddenly barely breathe. She figured now she would only see him through these many pictures, through her more vivid dreams. Hikari couldn’t choke back the sobs, nor the aches, nor the warm memories that accompanied her childhood friend’s silly smile (which she couldn’t really see, since his presence in the photos was nearly always a blur), nor the yearning to see it again.

Which she did when she turned toward her door and saw him standing in the threshold (not a blur, but a grown man who still acted so much like a small boy), which just made her cry more.

“I know I can make people emotional sometimes and it’s nice, but if me being here is gonna make you cry, I’m not going to visit!”

Before he could run away (not that he would ever leave her, especially in tears), she jumped into his lanky arms and held him close, pleading silently with him to stay.

“Of course I will,” he whispered against her ear with his trademark goofy grin.


4. Good to You - Marianas Trench ft. Kate Voegle

And I do want you to know
I'll hold you up above everyone
And I do want you to know
I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you

Twinleaf Town (and a majority of Sinnoh, really) always wore at least two layers of snow on its thick branches, its red roofs, its fresh grass (she and Jun made sure to accurately count and keep track, though they couldn’t stay out long and get a precise number because of the numbing cold). Needless to say, it was constantly chilly, even on summer noons and evenings, when the sun reached its bright zenith and bore down harshly on its unsuspecting citizens. Even on the days where they potentially could be barefoot, potentially could wear short and skirts and even a little bit of sunscreen, there was still a tiny nip in the air that bit at their exposed skin and reminded them it would never be that warm.

Jun ignored it though, romping without mittens or a scarf, always the first to catch a cold and treat it with reckless abandon, worsening it entirely.

So when Hikari took her first trip to Sandgem Town at nine and was given a little allowance from her mother to shop as she pleased (with some advice from her mother on how to pick out the right sales), her initial stop was a quaint little craft store, where scarves where appropriately displayed in the glass windows.

She thought of how Jun never really looked after himself after spotting a warm green one that would go nicely with his striped shirt, and grinned when she saw a white one that would undoubtedly match her pretty pink coat. She never minded looking after him (since he couldn’t seem to do it himself, anyway), and saw this as the perfect opportunity to do so with Christmas Eve around the corner.

When Christmas came that year they both donned their new scarves proudly, and used it to play outside together – now they were warm enough to stay out longer (there were three layers of snow on each tree they discovered; Jun and Hikari could count without freezing their fingers now thanks to their new mittens and scarves).

Even years later, despite the material being threadbare and torn, and not quite as warm as they used to be, they still wore them while traveling snow-coated Sinnoh (and sometimes even combined and shared the scarves when they met up to stay just a little warmer and count just a few more layers).


5. Shattered - Trading Yesterday

Yesterday I died
Tomorrow’s bleeding
Fall into your sunlight

Jun had his bad days, too, despite never letting it show; he’d hide it behind a silly smile or shrug, or pretend he was late again and bolt off before anyone could see him break apart or cry.

There were days when he really missed his father, but couldn’t reach him because he needed to be a Champion to get the Battle Tower - a Pokemon Master - and it would hurt him so much when he realized it could be years before he even got to that point.

There were days when he got scared, too; when he thought he wouldn’t make it alive out of an incredibly dark cave, or when he lost a Pokemon battle and feared for the lives of his traveling companions as he rushed to find a center to heal them.

He didn’t like to show his weaknesses, and in a way, he ran from them. He was ten-years-old and on his own after all, he should be a man.

Until one day when he felt the dry, overwhelming aches again and the tears rise, and accidentally bumped into Hikari on his way to seek shelter before letting it show. He normally ran to a place he could have a good cry without anyone knowing it ever even happened aside from his Pokemon and from himself, but on this particular day he'd hit a speedbump, slowing him but not his silent sobbing.

“Jun?” She reached up gently from the ground beneath him, running slender, fragile fingers through his golden strands of hair – she was the only one, he realized then, ever allowed to touch it. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?” She remembered suddenly all the times he comforted her in the past, and leaned up to hug him tightly, warmly.

He was ten-years-old and not friendless after all, so there were days when he believed was allowed to cry on her shoulder.

please stay
19th-Jul-2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
"really, who could handle Jun partying? She was just getting the hang of interior decorating, not interior destruction." First of all, this line. THIS. <333 So adorable.
I really loved all the different times you wrote about here, it really created two wonderfully rich characters. I really enjoyed this. <3 great job!
19th-Jul-2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I imagine he'd be a little dangerous to have around the house. Haha.

Thanks! ♥
19th-Jul-2010 09:25 pm (UTC)
...inconsistent footprints, smiling and calling him a “dork” under her breath, a whisper as quiet as the hush of the snow with affection as deep as it. AND THIS He smiled at her weak attempts to keep pace with his inconsistent pathways, smiling and calling her “adorable” under his breath, a small murmur filled with so much love. *makes incoherent noise and flails hands pathetically* GAH LOVELOVELOVE

Although my favorite pairing is Kouki/Hikari (Lucas/Dawn)I love this pairing as well and you do them justice! <3 All so wonderfully written and it really gives them depth. Awesome~

Edited at 2010-07-19 09:25 pm (UTC)
19th-Jul-2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. ♥
19th-Jul-2010 11:03 pm (UTC)
Aww... I like these. *_*
Ah, I don't really know anything more useful to say ... orz Sorry.
I think I approve of your headcanon. XD And I like the way you write. :3
19th-Jul-2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks! ♥

I'm glad. xD Sometimes I'm concerned about my headcanon.
20th-Jul-2010 03:25 am (UTC)
I love Twinleafshipping, therefore, I love you :) Best friends forever! Haha, maybe that's getting ahead of myself, like Barry.

I loved this story, it's so cute and sad and just emotional. I wanted to laugh and cry and smile and sob at the same time, which I'm sure would have looked extremely weird. But I really enjoyed reading this and really, I can't wait to see anything else you write. <3
20th-Jul-2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks! Haha. Any fellow Twinleafshippers are always bffls to me!

♥ Thanks very much! ^^
20th-Jul-2010 08:42 am (UTC)
These were really cute! I especially liked #2 and #3 because they were so lovely, with the footprints and the moving in, I was practically gushing at the romance because I love this pair haha. I liked #1 too, but I felt that you could have aged them up a few more years because five-years old seems too young here -- or it could just be me.
20th-Jul-2010 04:06 pm (UTC)
I love this pair, too. I don't know why, but they're one of my favorites. Haha. Thanks! ♥

I just wasn't sure when Hikari's dad...disappeared. xD But yeah, I know what you mean. I kind of felt like they were a little young, too.
1st-Aug-2010 07:53 pm (UTC)
Hooray, now I finally get to pay you back a little for all your wonderful comments ;A;!

This fic was really awesome. I don't usually find this pairing, but you made it make a lot of sense to me! You seemed to get pretty lucky with the songs, too, or else you're so awesome that you made it look effortless. You had a lot of great imagery and you really utilized Sinnoh's geography very well.

In #1, you can tell that you're still getting your writing groove on. I think you have a lot of stray, unnecessary words here. For example, "The rain felt glacial against her exposed skin, and some of it sunk straight through her clothes and even appeared to turn her bones to ice" - You could say "The rain sunk straight through her clothes and turned her bones to ice" and it would still work. When Jun opens the door and "looks as shocked as he felt," you can just say "looks shocked"--the extra words aren't necessary. Little things like that here and there can tighten up your writing. /thumbs up
The last line of #1 is beautiful, btw.

#2 just about killed me with the cute. ;A;

#3's first paragraph has some huge sentences! Could you try chopping them up?
AHHH THE CUTE OH MY GOD. I love Barry's voice!

#4 makes me confused at first--what are they counting?
...Did you mean "ignore" instead of "treat" for Jun's cold?
Also, the scarf trio is adorable and explaining how they got their scarves made me go asd;flkajerlkajsodpfjar; XD

#5 made my heart melt into a puddle. ;A;

These were adorable and touching, occasionally funny and really fun to read! Wonderful job! ♥
2nd-Aug-2010 03:08 am (UTC)
Aww. You don't have to pay me back! Haha. ♥ Thank you~!

I think I have a soft spot for this pairing mainly because I adore Jun and I enjoy following his little flailing sprite. xD I was so glad I got all those songs on shuffle, though the sadder ones were harder to work with at times.

I'm so terrible at starting stories. Haha. I gotta work on stronger starts. I always add too many words and metaphors. xD And I have to work on shorter sentences, too. Orz I have a run-on habit that needs to go away. ajidsjsgd I talk too much at once.

They're counting layers of snow on the trees. And...I think so. jaifjsd My bad. Haha. I'll have to go back and edit these to make them less messy.

Thank you so much! ♥
3rd-Aug-2010 12:26 pm (UTC)
really, who could handle Jun partying? She was just getting the hang of interior decorating, not interior destruction.

lines like these make your fic so good to read 8D

Overall, it was good. One thing that also needs to be mentioned is how you really grasped these characters' personalities, although you haven't even finished the games xD
3rd-Aug-2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks! ♥

Well, I finished Diamond! Haha. Though it's been a while. I never got through much of Platinum, however. I really ought to do that soon. xD
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